Life

My Girl

My little girl.

She is FIERCE! She knows what she wants, when she wants it, and usually figures out how to get it.

She is intense. She is passionate. She is loud. She is strong.

She has a big heart and will YELL at you, while crying, if you try to cross any of her brothers.

She is everything I wanted to be at her age, but wasn’t.

I thought if I complied, if I was quiet, if I was good, then I’d be loved.

It did not matter what I did, how much I did, or how good I was at it – the acknowledgement, the praise, the love didn’t come.

But I kept trying.

Until I didn’t.

Then I became myself – direct, kind, intelligent, loving.

Parenting is tough. Add in all the childhood trauma I’ve endured and it’s even tougher to navigate.

I had a really tough realization recently.

I see my younger self, when I look at my daughter.

But I see myself as she is – INTENSE. PASSIONATE. LOUD. STRONG. FIERCE.

LOVED.

She is able to be all of those things because she KNOWS and FEELS that she is loved.

I fail daily, at this parenting stuff. But I know with every piece of me that my kids know and feel my love for them.

I was terrified when I found out I was having a little girl – He must have known that I needed that part of my heart healed.

1 Peter 4:8

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