In the past, we have had between a few hours to a couple days to get prepared for our little ones to move in. The nerves, excitement, hopes and fears that set in during the time between a call and when they arrive are indescribable.
We had kept our third bedroom gender neutral in order to accommodate the next little boy or girl. Now that Emma is due to arrive in July we decided to get the room ready for her… It turned out better than I had imagined.
This weekend was for showering baby Emma. Admittedly, I was full of conflicting emotions leading up to Saturday. Why was I having a baby shower? Emma will be the fourth child to enter our home… we did not have a shower for any of them and we had managed well.
Growing up, family was cut out of our lives because they treated my brother and I differently. For some reason, girls were favored and it was evident at a young age, so my family decided to cut ties. I think that is why I had such mixed emotions about my baby shower. We didn’t have one for the first, second, or third, so why now? It was making me feel like Emma was already getting special treatment.
I realize it’s not feasible to have a shower for each new child in our lives or really very realistic for the first placed with us, that’s not what I’m meaning. I was just hesitant about having a baby shower at all. I know everyone’s heart is different and sadly not everyone views my kids the way I do. I love them all equally and I will do everything in my power to make sure they each feel that love and to make sure others in our circle don’t make them feel differently.
Nevertheless, several of my friends asked to host a shower for Emma, so that’s what we did. It was beautiful. Regardless of fostering, I have never really taken part in these types of things. I didn’t have a wedding shower or a bridal shower for that exact reason. For some reason, I feel like a burden and indebted to those that do such kind gestures serving me — I am aware these are self-induced feelings, but they’re still present.
So to my friends that hosted and to those that came to the shower, thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your day to honor us. It was absolutely beautiful and very appreciated!