Some days are worse than others.
Some days it doesn’t even cross my mind.
Some days I fight back tears.
It’s like a bruise you forget about, until you hit it on something.
It’s something I’ve wanted all my life.
It all disintegrated after one conversation.
One conversation that held so much weight.
So much hurt.
So much sadness.
One conversation.
June 29, 2018.
That was the last time we spoke.
That was the last time I saw her.
She has never met my daughter.
My daughter that looks so much like me.
July 5, 2018.
My baby girl’s birthday.
Bittersweet.
She wasn’t there.
She hasn’t called.
She hasn’t sent a text, a letter, an email… nothing.
Blocked.
Deleted.
Erased.
It’s hard.
But, I don’t miss her.
I miss what I so very desperately wanted and needed her to be.
Foster, Life & Love 
I love you. You deserve so much better. I consider you my daughter, though we don’t have the history, I absolutely have the love, the admiration, the respect, and the pride in you that I have for all my children.
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